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When I was doing my English Language Bachelor's, in one lecture, the lecturer said "there's no language in the world where two positives following one another make a negative.
I said "yeah, right"
I said "yeah, right"
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How's this for a piece of cultural appropriation? I've just heard an Israeli tenor give a rendition of "Oy vay, Maria"Comment
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Phoned the doctor this morning, told him I've had the sh*ts for over a week. He replied " 5 more weeks and they'll be back to school" and hung up.Comment
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Sting has been kidnapped. The Police have no lead.Comment
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I never thought wearing orthopaedic shoes would work. I stand corrected.Comment
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At the docs this morning I was told to lose weight, stop drinking alcohol and start exercising more. I still demanded to see the doctor, though.Comment
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Whilst on holiday on Kos, I watched a football match. One team had a player who was half man, half horse. He was their centaur forward.Comment
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(For the H Potter fans, if any) I understand he has now moved to the Italian Serie A to play with FirenzeComment
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Just been chatting to a bloke in a bar, says his brother's in the Hollies. I asked "what's his name?", he replied "Ian Tevvy"Comment
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A picture of two priests popped up on my timeline this morning. I didn't know the guy on the right but I immediately recognised Pastor Dutchie on the left hand side.Comment
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Took er indoors to the doctors to get a cure for her Tourettes. Turns out she doesn't have it. She really does think I'm a **** and should **** off.Comment
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Just seen a photo of male goats in the Scottish Highlands. It's a Billy Colony.Comment
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A woman who injected her 8 year old daughter with botox for a children's pageant has lost custody of the child. The girl couldn't raise a smile.Comment
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Just seen a bloke at the shops. He couldn't stop swearing about Cauliflower and Brocolli. I asked him what the matter was. He said he had Florettes.Comment
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