Here's a well worn old favourite.

The hardy Geordie !

Cold is relative ( bear with it until the end ! )

50 Degrees - New Yorkers turn on the heating - people in Newcastle plant
gardens !

40 Degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably - people in Newcastle
sunbathe !

35 Degrees - Italian cars will not start - people in Newcastle drive with
the windows
down ( those who have cars ) !

20 Degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves and wool hats - people in
Newcastle throw on a T- Shirt ( girls throw on a wet one ) !

15 Degrees - Californians begin to evacuate - people in Newcastle go
swimming (some without their underpants ) !

Zero Degrees - New York landlords turn up the heat - people in Newcastle
have the last BBQ before it gets cold !

Minus 10 degrees - people in Miami cease to exist - people in Newcastle
throw on a lightweight jacket !

Minus 80 Degrees - Polar bears wonder if it's worth it - Boy Scouts in
Newcastle postpone winter survival courses until it gets colder !

Minus 100 Degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - people in
Newcastle pull down their earmuffs and pull on their long johns !

Minus 173 Degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes - people in Newcastle get
frustrated because they cannot thaw their kegs!

Minus 297 Degrees - Microbial life starts to disappear - Newcastle cows
complain of farmers with cold hands !

Minus 500 Degrees - Hell freezes over - Newcastle United win a trophy!!!!!