It's almost Christmas so I'm going to dig deep and buy Scotty Parker a Magic Wand.

He will give it one wave and suddenly we will be able to take on and beat the best teams in Europe.

We will be able to rip new arseholes for teams who concede no goals in ten games, lose three times a year and then go to the Bernabeu and stuff Real Madrid.

Another wave of the wand might end the obvious bias the PMGOL referees show to the Big City teams. Yesterday was pfhucking embarrassing, every 50/50 call went to Arsenal, two non-corners awarded to the team who use corners as goals.

One other thing. We have 22 professional outfield footballers who practice or play almost every day and not one of them are capable of taking a corner like Declan Rice.

Every corner he takes is hit with laser like accuracy towards half a dozen 6 foot plus athletes who can attack the ball with unmatched ferocity.

I refuse to criticise the Clarets who matched the Gunners for large parts of this contest.

Unfortunately, we do not have a Declan Rice but we have Kyle Walker who is almost as good. COYC.