OT - One liners

[MadAmster]

... and maybe the odd two liner. Let's see who comes up with the best and the worst.

I have just farted so long and loud my voice recognition software wrote a Daily Mail news column?

[Trickytreesreds]

Sadiq Khan blamed today blamed an earthquake was responsible in Tower Hamlets, after a bunk bed collapsed killing 37 Bangladeshi's

[MadAmster]

There’s 50% off lamb in Morrisons butchers today. That's sheep at half the price!

[Trickytreesreds]

I regret rubbing Tomato ketchup into my eyes. But that's Heinz sight for you

[Trickytreesreds]

I'm a part time gynecologist. I was going to fully retire, but I like to keep my hand in now and again.

[MadAmster]

TTR a part time gynaecologist and recently painted the hallway through the letter box.

[Geoff Parkstone]

When I screamed at the gynecologist, it was just an ovary action.

[Trickytreesreds]

I suppose lesbian *** is a bit like cricket, in that it goes on forever and there’s a lot of men watching it at home, alone, on the internet

[Andy_Faber]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side








Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck in the chicken

[Geoff Parkstone]

3 men on the Titanic and it's sinking ...

Fireman says "come on let's get the kids in the lifeboats"

Lawyer says "F uck the kids, I'm out of here"

Priest says "Do you think we have time...."

[Trickytreesreds]

My friend doesn’t like to talk about his psoriasis. He’d rather just sweep it under the carpet.

[MadAmster]

I've have eaten more than a dozen Kinder eggs for my breakfast!
I’m expecting a day full of surprises!

[Geoff Parkstone]

Over my head, must be a Dutch thing

[MadAmster]

Over my head, must be a Dutch thing

You must have a pretty low head as they've been available in the UK for over 50 years.

[SithHappens]

Ha yeah kinder have been around for donkeys