OT - One liners

[ramAnag]

You know that theory about the moon being made of cheese? I blame the Hallouminati!

[Trickytreesreds]

My grief councillor was killed in a car crash today.
Luckily, he was so good at his job, I didn't give a ****.

[Trickytreesreds]

I saw a documentary on how ships were built yesterday.It was rivetting.

[Trickytreesreds]

Comic Sans font walks into a bar.
The bar man says, "you can piss off, we don't serve your type in here"

[MadAmster]

Last November, I drove to the baker's to get some cake for bonfire night. Unfortunately there was no parkin.

[MadAmster]

My friend has died in a skydiving accident. Proper down to earth guy, he was....

[MadAmster]

Gloria Gaynor invited 6 people to her dinner party but only 5 turned up.
Never mind she thought,
“I will serve five”

[Trickytreesreds]

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

[Trickytreesreds]

Adam and Eve, were the first one's to ignore the Apple terms and conditions

[MadAmster]

Breaking news... there's a national shortage of piss. It seems HMG has taken it all.

[Trickytreesreds]

My grandad survived a mustard gas and pepper spray attack. He's a seasoned veteran now.

[MadAmster]

A friend of mine recently had a neck brace fitted. He's never looked back since...

[Trickytreesreds]

the man who invented knock - knock jokes, got a no bell prize for it.

[MadAmster]

I was injured when a massive vat of tonic water burst at the factory where I was working
I was Schwepped away.

[MadAmster]

I used to be an archaeologist and wasn't very good at it.
I soon realised that, my career was in ruins!