OT - One liners

[SithHappens]

What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off.

[Geoff Parkstone]

Geordie bloke goes into the hairdresser, who asks him what he wants. The customer answers " I know it's not fashionable but I'd like a perm". "Are you sure?" asks the barber. "Yes" comes the reply. "Ok" says the barber "I wandered lonely as a cloud...."

[SithHappens]

Arranged a surprise bukkake party for my girlfriend last night, everybody came, you should have seen her face!

[Geoff Parkstone]

My Rastafarian mate has had a bad start to 2026. His wife left him and took the satellite dish. No woman, no sky...

[Ram Pant]

I always find New Year's Eve very stressful.
I'm suffering from old langxiety!

[SithHappens]

Had a Tesco delivery this morning, the driver said, " I've got a couple of substitutions for you, here's your rosemary and haddock".
I said, "this is neither the thyme or the plaice".

[Geoff Parkstone]

You can tell its cold this week, just seen Keir Starmer with his hands in his own pockets

[Geoff Parkstone]

what does a Forest fan do when his team wins a trophy? Turns off the Playstation

[SithHappens]

My wife told me: *** is better on
holiday.

I wasn't expecting that on the postcard
she sent from Greece?

[Ram Pant]

We had Napoleon Chicken last night, when we got to the wishbone, we couldn't pull the Bonaparte

[Ram Pant]

Rumours that Denmark is to rename Greenland so that Trump never mentions it again. The proposed new name is Epstein Island.

[ramAnag]

What happened when Farage took Viagra? He got taller.

[Geoff Parkstone]

Isn't that how it's supposed to work?

[SithHappens]

Yes it makes a dick get bigger

[ramAnag]

Do try and keep up, GP.