Keir Starmer

[Shetland Don]

Nae idea. My people deal with that sort of administrative malarkey and associated fiscal fripperies. My fixed income is subject to PAYE, and, as a *sole trader with no mission statement, targets, strategies, customers, turnover, staff (our most important asset, the fúcking militant thieving bástards), or assets against which I can offset corporation tax, that’s it. I haven’t completed a self-assessment form since the ârse fell out of my performing world in 2009, and my voluntary work attracts no emoluments or allowed expenses. “We are just ordinary folk”.

*on the odd occasion I treat myself to a haddock and chips (from the chipper, of course) I am charged non-returnable VAT at 20%, for which scandal I hope that Thatcher’s being spit-roasted in all eternity by Satan himself, and that he and King Dong are changing ends at half time. Quite how one calculates half time in eternity is one that I’ll leave to the quadrillions of bean counters that populate the sulphuric furnaces of Gehenna.

And yes, it is 0327, but I’ve had my 150 minutes sleep.

I trust I can rely on your vote?

All food that is moist and hot along with most drinks is subjected to VAT at 20%. Some women too should perhaps be subject to VAT, even at say 10%, in these trying fiscal times - maybe a topic for discussion at one of the Green Party’s sponsored luncheons, Lorna?

[Shetland Don]

All food that is moist and hot along with most drinks is subjected to VAT at 20%. Some women too should perhaps be subject to VAT, even at say 10%, in these trying fiscal times - maybe a topic for discussion at one of the Green Party’s sponsored luncheons, Lorna?

1 May, 1984 was the date that the late Baroness Thatcher introduced VAT on takeaway food - I don’t remember that at all as I couldn’t even afford a takeaway back then and we had very few takeaway food outlets in Shetland at that point in time anyway!